Saturday, July 02, 2005

The Nonconsensual Barter

Every Saturday I like to go on a bike ride. I load up my mp3 player with comics such as George Carlin and Phil Hendrie and then go zipping throughout the city and local parks where people give me weird looks because I tend to laugh out loud a lot and I have very white legs.
This morning I exited my apartment all ready to go and this is what I saw:



That empty space is where my bike was last night. Some dirtbag jacked my bike! They left my neighbor's, which I can understand because it's a rusty pile of garbage that hasn't been moved in over a year. I mean for the love of the Holy Mother Mary she's got an old filthy doormat on her bike! Then I found this:



Looks like an old doormat might have been a better deterrent than my bike lock since the theif cut through it without breaking a sweat. But the fun wasn't over for me yet because then I found this left close to the bike area:



That's right, the jackball that took my bike left this old one in exchange. So now I can't really say my bike got jacked, but that I was the victim of a nonconsensual barter! I'm really coming out of this deal rough because I can't ride this bike: it's used, I don't know where it's been or who it's been with and the seat might have a venereal disease! Seriously, I could take that thing for a spin around the block and end up like Terri Schiavo before the sun went down!

3 Comments:

Blogger Storm said...

oh, that last comment was just wrong. Funny, but wrong.

I'm sorry your bike was stolen though. Whoever did that was an ass.

8:56 AM  
Blogger zandperl said...

Don't forget to report the theft to the police on the off chance that someone finds it and it can get returned to you.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Syd said...

Hey - if you think about it - it really is funny. I wonder if this would work with a car? Maybe I can "barter" a new H3 with my 94 Jeep? Hmmmmmm?

1:13 PM  

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