Polish Aggression

Once again, I have become the victim of a Polish terrorist. To recap, last summer my office was vandalized by this filthy polish when he hung up my baby pictures for all the world to see. I mean yeah, I was a porker baby, but who wasn't?



Notice that little orange kitty hanging in between those cute baby pictures? That kitty is one of my favorite stuffed animals (yes, I like stuffed animals) and unfortunately that makes it a potential terrorist target. Realizing this I moved the kitty into the safety of my office, which turned out to be not very safe because the polack stole it! I wasn't about to surrender to a polish man, so I decided to strike back at his beloved animal!


Fishy business...



The polish have pets too, and this particular polack has a Beta fish named Jake that he keeps at work. I decided to send a message that I was not to be trifled with by posing my big stuffed cat over his fishbowl. Unfortunately, this backfired.


Kitty loses his head!



A few days after I put the cat on the fishbowl I was greeted by this horrifying sight on my office door: my kitty had been decapitated!
The horror continued inside the office. At this point I should warn my younger readers that the following image is graphic and disturbing:




At this point I knew I had to take things to the next level. I believe violence against cats is wrong (unless you own a Chinese restaurant) and I wasn't going to let the polish get away with this.


Shock and Awe
I was given a chance at retribution when I learned the target would be out of town for a two day business trip. After putting together a coalition of the willing, we sprang into action armed with stretch wrap, tape and these ugly foam seahawk hats (don't ask). We totally took that polack's office for a ride! Here is the before pictures:



And here is what it looked like when we were done:




Notice the stuffed animals hanging around:





The cycle continues...

All that work paid off the next day when I found my kitty returned! I was so happy! So happy that I let my guard down and forgot to secure the kitty...