Friday, March 10, 2006

Polish Aggression

Once again, I have become the victim of a Polish terrorist. To recap, last summer my office was vandalized by this filthy polish when he hung up my baby pictures for all the world to see. I mean yeah, I was a porker baby, but who wasn't?

Notice that little orange kitty hanging in between those cute baby pictures? That kitty is one of my favorite stuffed animals (yes, I like stuffed animals) and unfortunately that makes it a potential terrorist target. Realizing this I moved the kitty into the safety of my office, which turned out to be not very safe because the polack stole it! I wasn't about to surrender to a polish man, so I decided to strike back at his beloved animal!

Fishy business...

The polish have pets too, and this particular polack has a Beta fish named Jake that he keeps at work. I decided to send a message that I was not to be trifled with by posing my big stuffed cat over his fishbowl. Unfortunately, this backfired.

Kitty loses his head!

A few days after I put the cat on the fishbowl I was greeted by this horrifying sight on my office door: my kitty had been decapitated!
The horror continued inside the office. At this point I should warn my younger readers that the following image is graphic and disturbing:

At this point I knew I had to take things to the next level. I believe violence against cats is wrong (unless you own a Chinese restaurant) and I wasn't going to let the polish get away with this.

Shock and Awe
I was given a chance at retribution when I learned the target would be out of town for a two day business trip. After putting together a coalition of the willing, we sprang into action armed with stretch wrap, tape and these ugly foam seahawk hats (don't ask). We totally took that polack's office for a ride! Here is the before pictures:

And here is what it looked like when we were done:

Notice the stuffed animals hanging around:

The cycle continues...

All that work paid off the next day when I found my kitty returned! I was so happy! So happy that I let my guard down and forgot to secure the kitty...


Blogger tracifish said...

Hello Craig,

I reviewed your blog on Blog Explosion
and linked you on my blog. I'm waiting
for you to update. When are you posting again?

Also, link me on your blog (if you feel like it). My blog has some christian content, so I don't know how you feel about that.

I love your photoes...especially the
kitty cats...

and I want to know how are are dealing with your polish terrorist...or how he is dealing with you. LOL

I also love the the stuffed cat with the dart!

1:33 AM  

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